Junk in the Prada

“That Prada bag on someone’s shoulder may look impressive but it still holds junk!” << Can I get two Amens?!

Chapters three and four of “Get Out of That Pit” took me on a journey of self introspection. I’ve always maintained that cheating doesn’t just happen. You know from that first flirtatious conversation exactly where it was going. Runnnn before you slip into a pit — easy enough yes? Funny that I could see this and frown with righteous indignation but I can’t or should I say won’t see all the other seemingly innocent pits in life disguised as dips. The worse thing about pits you slip into is that when you finally do look up you’re so utterly far from God. When you first slip you’re sensitive to God — before you could slide far you’re already begging God for forgiveness. Then the path gets more familiar, the slope less slippery, and with hardened hearts we get comfortable and even make our own make shift sled with cardboard. Don’t you just hate that vacant feeling?  I give myself a mental kick for weakening my connection with God. (I’ve had many mental kicks) Static on the line Lord!

I just love Joseph when he ran from Potiphar’s wife. That’s what I call fleeing from a pit!

You know the other pits we slip into – or at least me — I’ll speak for myself. The ones triggered by a memory we thought we were over. The reality is it was simply buried and just needed the right gust of wind to blow off the canvas. Talk about a punch to the gut. One day you’re soaring then the next you’re gasping for air. I’m learning daily to stay away from things and people that set off my pit sensors.

Ohhhh boy to the pit jumping…  I didn’t need to be reminded of how absolutely stupid I’ve been on so many occasions. When I think of pit jumpers I immediately think of Jonah and his blatant disregard for God’s directive.  I’m ashamed to say that so many times I’ve worn Jonah’s shoes. And like Beth’s friend with the DUI I roll my dice, forfeit my $200.00 and go directly to my pit — right after using my “Get out of Pit Free” card.  Yah that card we use when we lament before God and say, “Lorrrrrrd if you save me this one time I won’t do it again.”  Knowing deep down in our hearts we’re already justifying our next pit jumping actions. Funny that Beth should remind us that God knows our hearts! Hmmm am I the only one who’s made promises to God?

My biggest take away from this reading segment is: “so much of our propensity toward pit jumping springs from the fact that somewhere deep down inside we just don’t trust God.” Who meeeee? Surely not! The reality is, however, that every time I try to fix my problems on my own, or indulge in self destructive behavior I’m telling my God that I don’t trust him. Now THAT is a hard pill to swallow.

What resonated with you in chapters three and four?

Flirting with Pits

Have you read “Get Out of That Pit”  by Beth Moore? You should. It falls right into the category of things that make you go hmmm then hmm some more…

If we were really honest with ourselves at some point while reading the first two chapters of “Get out of the Pit,” Beth struck a nerve…or dare I say three.  The reality is we’ve all at some point in our lives been in the pit or flirted with pit living.  I’ll be the first to raise my hands and say I’ve been in the pit; I made a bed there and even stocked up on some good air-freshner to quell the stench. Today, If I were to be brutally honest, on my worse days I am back there and skate dangerously close to staying there.

In my pit sojourn I remember hurting so much that all I could do is lay in a ball begging the pain to stop — feeling like someone was ripping my insides out — slowly. I remember being in class one day taking notes – the memory is so vivid I can tell you exactly where I was sitting and who the teacher was. That day I sat, and took notes while tears streamed down my face. I absolutely hate crying, especially in public – that day my pain and my tears had a mind of their own. I never left the class – I just kept writing, and crying, writing and crying — oblivious to my classmates.

The worse part of the pit is the battle in your mind when you beat yourself up for something you said, didn’t say, did or didn’t do and you keep replaying it. Self torture is the worse pain, yes? Yet we do it – daily.  I think it’s even worse for us introverts as we can have an entire conversation, (with responses!) in our head.

How did I get out – am keeping out of the pit? It started with acknowledgement. The worse thing we do to ourselves is to walk around like we’re so deep and untouched by anything with our noses turned up in a facade of constipated holiness. Yeah I know I still struggle with that as I don’t like to appear weak. I’m by no means saying cry and lament everyday at every opportunity — not at all. I’m just saying find at least one person you can be real with — let down your guard and be honest. Give yourself permission to fail, permission to cry. We do ourself and our sister an in justice with our masks.

Then rely on God for peace and healing. When I was too broken to pray I’d just keep saying over and over “thou God seest me, thou God seest me, thou God seest me…”  You’d be amazed at how swiftly God moves perhaps not to change the situation but to change your mind set.  A scripture I cling to for dear life is to put on “a garment of praise for a spirit of despair.”  When I’m at my weakest I make a conscious decision to not stay there and I really just begin to praise Him through my tears. Yes conscious because it’s so easy to wallow in self pity.

I am by no mean pit free as when Beth talked about forgiveness I squirmed as if she was talking directly to me. Amazing that we could read about Joseph and pick out the parts where God favored him and ignore the fact that Joseph forgave his brothers. Wow.  You know one thing that made me go hmmm from these chapters? I never once thought that Joseph was flaunting his coat.

What about you? How are you getting out of your pit? And what in Beth’s story makes you go hmmm…